Parenting Begins Way Before One Becomes A Parent

“PARENTING BEGINS WAY BEFORE ONE BECOMES A PARENT”

-A WISE PERSON SAID THIS TO ME

WHAT IS PARENTING?

I thought this first blog post perhaps should begin to address the notion of ‘parenting’ itself. What does it mean to become a parent?  What are the responsibilities of a parent? What does language development and literacy have to do with parenting anyway?

According to the American Psychological Association, parenting practices around the world share three major goals:

1. ensuring the health and safety of children
2. getting children ready to live a life that is productive as an adult
3. passing down cultural values

Masud Hoghughui, a clinical psychologist, asserts that “parenting is the most important public health issue facing our society” in terms of mediating childhood illnesses, accidents, academic underachievement, child abuse, juvenile crime, and mental illness. I couldn’t agree more, particularly in light of the challenges facing parents in current times. For all three of the above goals, mastery of language and literacy skills is crucial!

THE ORIGIN OF LANGUAGE…

In order for these 3 goals to be realized, language development is a necessity. Language is the way human beings are able to share their thoughts, emotions, and intentions.  Oral language likely has been around since the evolution of modern Homo sapiens, between 50,000 and 150,000 years ago; however, it is particularly difficult to pin the precise time frame down since there is little direct evidence.

According to Harvard psychologist Steven Pinker, oral language is ‘instinctual’, just as birds build nests, and ‘evolved’ in order to solve the problems unique to a hunter-gatherer society. This implies that language does not need to be specifically ‘taught’, but rather is innate.  Human beings learn oral language and the grammar of their native language (or sometimes 2 languages!) from exposure to their parents and other members of their communities.

THE ORIGIN OF LITERACY…

On the other hand, written language is not instinctual and must be taught, typically by a teacher (or other adult), around the time a child is between 5 and 7 or 8 years of age.  Written language has only been in existence for about 6,000 years and was not available to the masses until some time until at least the 15^th century when Gutenberg’s invented the printing press in 1439 in Europe.  The ability to read and write was previously reserved for the clergy and nobility.

That said, literacy rates in the United States were difficult to measure during its early days as a nation. Research has been done using primary documents including letters. Those who were illiterate would simply sign their names to official documents with a ‘mark’.  More men were taught to read than women (no surprise since women did not possess voting rights at that time!), and rates of literacy were higher in urban areas on the east coast (also no surprise) of the United States.

The Founding Fathers valued literacy; it was their opinion that educating the masses would avoid tyranny. School attendance was not mandatory until the mid-19^th century, and schools as we currently perceive them did not exist until the 1930s. Even as late as 1918, American students were only required to complete elementary school. In fact, many Americans were taught to read, but were not taught to write in the early days!

WHY ALL THIS BACKGROUND INFORMATION?

With all the progress that has been made in education, it is really up to you—parents, to play an active role in your child’s overall development and particularly in his/her academic achievement from the moment the child is born.

My goal in this blog post and future posts is to enhance your knowledge base regarding children’s language and literacy development. 

The Nation’s Report Card of 2019 makes it clear that a ‘disconnect’ continues to exist in terms of our children achieving literacy at acceptable levels, with only just over one third of students in grades 4, 8, and 12 are able to achieve at a proficient level (meaning just at grade level); the achievement of students of color and English Learners, sadly, is significantly lower. This has remained unchanged for the past 20 years despite an ever-increasing knowledge base in terms of how to teach children literacy.

WHY DOES “PARENTING BEGIN WAY BEFORE ONE BECOMES A PARENT”?

A few reasons:

1. Every new family that is created when a new baby comes into our world does so under a different set of circumstances—sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard, sometimes it is very hard, sometimes it is planned, sometimes not—those human beings who become parents bring all of this with them as they embark on attempting to achieve the three major goals of parenting (health/safety, ability to live as productive adults, transmission of culture).
2. Babies begin to ‘hear’ language around them during the third trimester of pregnancy, and are learning language each and every day after birth.
3. Better language and literacy skills on the parts of future parents will result in better language and literacy skills for their children…today’s schoolchildren are our next generation’s future parents…we owe it to our children and our children’s children to prepare them as best as we can.

Where did the headline quote come from, you ask?  One afternoon after a day of difficult decision-making, my son made this statement while on the phone with me. He has always been a kind, wise, and empathetic person—even as a child. He and his wife’s journey to parenthood was celebrated at last in July 2020. They are the proud, hardworking parents of a little girl named Jeri Willamina, who they speak, sing, and read to every day.