Why Write a Thank You Note?
A thank you note is simply an effective and simple way to show appreciation for the kindness of others in terms of generosity and support..
One can write a thank you note not only for gifts received (’tis the season), but also for any kind gesture including, but not limited to:
- a gift received–especially this time of year!
- a job interview
- a meal delivery to you when in need
- attendance at an event
- help provided to someone in need of assistance
- time spent professionally to help a client or patient
- a kind word
- a visit to someone’s home, especially if you are a house guest
- a scholarship received
WHY?
- the sentiment can be read and reread for perpetuity (forever)
- it’s a means to recapture the smile, handshake or hug you would have given the recipient in person
- it’s an example that you can ‘pay forward’
- it’s just the right thing to do!
In addition, according to Dr. Christian Jarrett, in the Science of Us, a brain-scanning study published in NeuroImage “brings us a little closer to understanding why these [gratitude] exercises [writing thank you notes] have long lasting, positive effects on overall wellbeing! The results suggest that even months after a simple, short gratitude writing task, people’s brains are still wired to feel extra thankful. The implication is that gratitude tasks work, at least in part, because they have a self-perpetuating nature: The more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it and the more you can enjoy its psychological benefits.” These psychological benefits include reduced depression and an overall feeling of wellbeing.
I appreciate Dr. Jarrett’s study. What’s not to like about it? I want to be more mindful and have a better sense of wellbeing. Who doesn’t want that?
Nothing is as personal as a handwritten note. Trust me on this. I have personally saved and reread many thank you notes. These notes often bring back fond memories of the writer and the reason I received the note.
History of the Thank You Note
The very earliest thank you notes written on papyrus go as far away to China and Egypt, and as far back as the 1400s. Notes were exchanged to celebrate friendship, offer good luck, and thanks.
The spread of thank you notes to Europe occurred later in the 1400s in the form of letters or a cards, which were often delivered by hand. Of course, the practice started with the aristocracy, as many people were unable to read and write during the Middle Ages. These first greetings were considered a new form of social expression. Interestingly, a German immigrant, Pouis Prang, first brought the notion of a ‘thank you note’ to the United States 16 years after the introduction of the postage stamp in 1856. At the time, ‘etiquette experts’ encouraged people to write a note of thanks for even the smallest of kind gestures.
According to The American School of Protocol, the term ‘thank you’ comes from the Old English “bancian” and pronounced “thahn-kyahn.” Please do not ask me about the sound/symbol relationships here!! Wow!! The word evolved to “thanken” in Middle English, and from there became our modern English “thank.” I searched my favorite spot for learning word origins, etymonline.com, to find out that “thank” originated from the Old English þancian, þoncian “to give thanks, thank, to recompense, to reward,” from Proto-Germanic *thankōjanan (source also of Old Saxon thancon, Old Norse þakka, Danish takke, Old Frisian thankia, Old High German danchon, Middle Dutch, Dutch, German danken “to thank“), from *thankoz “thought; gratitude,” from PIE root *tong- “to think, feel.” Those of you who teach morphology (the meaning parts of words) will find this bit of history interesting.
Why Have Written Thank You Notes Fallen Out of Favor?
Well there are a couple of reasons.
1 – Use of SOCIAL MEDIA! Sending an emoji, a quick text, and even an email is just not the same as the short amount of time taken to hand write a brief, but sincere thank you note. Nearly all of us receive a barrage of emails and texts daily–it is so easy for your expression of gratitude to just simply ‘get lost’. According to Emily Post Institute, only 38% of millennials send thank you notes, as compared to 81% of baby boomers! The stats for ‘business thank yous’ is even lower.
Here is a video of Lizzy Post explaining why writing thank you notes is never out of style!
Image from YouTube.
2 – Many feel that it is easier and quicker to correspond digitally…and do not see the value of taking the time and effort to handwrite a thank you note. Many simply do not know how to write an appropriate thank you note. Many do not even own proper supplies, inclusive of postage stamps!
3 – According to Erin White, who wrote this article in the Wall Street Journal, writing thank you notes is “an onerous chore on an already spiraling ‘to do’ list. One’s obligations stack up pretty high at certain life stages.”
How To Teach Kids of All Ages to Write Thank You Notes
In response to why thank you notes have fallen out of favor, I turn to Emily Post’s Complete Guide to Writing Thank You Notes, where it states, “they [thank you notes] are an opportunity for us to connect to the people in our lives in a meaningful way. In an increasingly informal digital world, continuing to pull out pen and paper is a way to distinguish yourself; handwritten thank-you note[s] speaks volumes simply as a medium and sends the message that you care enough to invest yourself personally in acknowledging another.” Receiving a handwritten note provides personality and warmth missing from reading the same sentiment on a screen.
For children, it’s nice to set an example of writing a thank you note. I recently found this Melissa Taylor’s article featuring books highlighting how to teach letter writing specifically to children. Ms. Taylor features the book, The Thank You Letter by Jane Cabrera as an introduction to writing thank you notes. It is a charming book with lots of examples. Here’s the video of this book being read aloud. What I love about it is the little girl’s voice and thought process as she wrote the thank you notes, first for tangible presents and then expressing gratitude for things such as the sky. The story ends with Grace as the recipient of love and thank you notes. Check it out. It is simple, yet meaningful. Ms. Taylor recommends several books about letter writing for kids. Check them out!
Image from Amazon
If you have an older child, they too, ought to be able to construct a simple thank you note. In fact, it is quite important for these kids to know how to write a decent note for many of the reasons I list in the beginning of this article..particularly those vocationally and college related. Upon snooping around, I found what I considered a pretty decent book to recommend entitled 101 Ways to Say Thank You, Kids and Teens: All-Occasion Thank-You Note Templates, Social Media Etiquette & Gratitude Guide by Kelly Browne. One purchaser commented that she gave this book as a gift to her grandchildren ages 6+, along with stationery, a nice pen, and stamps. What a great gift to give! You go, Grandma!! I’m going to remember this when my own grandkids are of age.
Image from Amazon
It is actually quite simple to write a thank you note. It can be short and sweet, but should include:
- Salutation or Greeting such as Dear, Dearest, or just the recipient’s first name
- Explicit Sentence stating why the thanks are being offerred
- Personal Sentence relating to why the writer is thankful
- Concluding Sentence perhaps about the future or expressing gratitude a second time
- Closing Greeting such as Sincerely, Best or Warm Regards, Yours Truly, Fondly, With Love, See ya’ Soon, etc.
It’s ok to be late in sending a note of thanks (not so great after a job interview though!)–better late than never! Never hesitate if you are late.
Do People Appreciate Thank You Notes? YESSSSS!!!!!
Enjoy the upcoming holidays and don’t forget to at least say ‘thank you’ to those who bestow you with gifts, food, hospitality, and kindness!!
By the way, THANK YOU and MUCH GRATITUDE for reading this and my other posts! Happy New Year 2024! I share my wish for peace everywhere for everyone in the coming year.
Sincerely, Lori Josephson
Image by Ira Grace on Canva, TYVM!
