HELP ME PROCESS..TOUCH MY HAND
My friend and colleague, Pam Kanfer, recently passed away after a long illness. I took Pam’s passing very hard—and still do. She was so important to so many people, especially to children, whether her own, her relatives, her children’s friends, or her students.
Pam’s friend (and now colleague–keep reading), Holly Christensen, wrote a piece appearing in the Akron Beacon Journal about Pam’s work with her children (two of whom have dyslexia) this past week. I want to share some highlights. Holly states that she is “starting to wonder if the purpose of my column is for me to have a way to process my own grief by having the chance to hear from others.” Here is the link to the entire column.
HOLLY’S HAND TOUCHED PAM’S HAND…PAM’S HAND TOUCHED HOLLY’S SONS’ HANDS
Holly’s story outlines the parenting journey she took to help two of her sons with dyslexia to achieve literacy. It was a bumpy, long and winding road–it took Holly until her son, Claude, was beginning third grade while still a non-reader to get to the root of the problem. He had severe dyslexia. This happens far too often, especially in 2023 when we know how to teach children literacy skills most efficiently and effectively using the tenets of Science of Reading.
“My son holds his pencil like a violin bow,” I told her [a pediatric occupational therapist Holly met at a summer retreat].”
~Holly Christensen
Can you imagine holding a pencil this way and writing pretty much all day as a 6 or 7 year old?
Image by Cottonbro Studios on Pexels
Holly enrolled Claude in private, public, and parochial schools and until he began working with Pam Kanfer, Claude was “miserable; he wasn’t catching on and he knew it.” As a result, Holly was miserable too. What mother isn’t miserable knowing her child is miserable?
Following Claude’s eventual evaluation and diagnosis, Holly contacted The Northern Ohio Branch of The International Dyslexia Association seeking recommendations for a tutor for Claude. Holly connected with Pam–Holly touched the hand that eventually touched Claude’s hand. Pam’s hand guided and taught Claude to hold that pencil in his hand appropriately and begin to learn to crack the code of the English language.
Holly writes that “within three months of working with Pam, Claude went from not being able to spell his name correctly to devouring early reader chapter books.” Claude spent many an hour over many months and years toiling in Pam’s office, eventually mastering reading, spelling, and written language skills. Holly writes that “in 2016, he graduated cum laude with a degree in English literature from the University of Michigan. Last year, he received his master’s in public policy from Texas A&M, and today he is a congressional liaison for the EPA in Washington, D.C.”
I LOVE SUCCESS STORIES LIKE THIS!
Holly’s third son, Jules, also has dyslexia. But this time around, Holly started Jules’ work with Pam right away when he was in kindergarten. I am often reminded of Maya Angelou’s famous words “when you know better, you do better”—and this time Holly knew better. Holly writes that “like Claude before him, saw Jules for several years.” Like Claude, Jules is a strong writer. Both sons now review the columns Holly pens for the Akron Beacon Journal.
Holly writes that “in all, I went to the Kanfer home multiple times a week for the better part of 10 years.” That is a L.O.N.G. time.
MY HAND THEN TOUCHED PAM’S HAND
I had recently moved to Akron Ohio myself with three young children in tow. I had been tutoring in Baltimore and volunteering with The Maryland Branch of The International Dyslexia Association prior to moving, but was just beginning to establish myself in the Northern Ohio community. Thus, Pam’s hand reached out to mine, as she was involved with the Lippman Day School; I tutored many students who attended Lippman. Thus, the many year relationship Pam began.
A few years later, Pam became my student as I had become a Fellow of the Orton-Gillingham Academy of Practitioners and Educators, as well as a Certified Wilson Language Trainer. Thus, we became long term colleagues—both of us passionate about teaching others. We both felt we possessed the gift of teaching students who struggled to make sense of the written code of English. In short, teaching others became our ‘mission’.
Pam and I spent countless hours in the car going to committee and board meetings of The Northern Ohio Branch of The International Dyslexia Association. We served on the Board of Directors for decades–yes, decades. We also spent countless hours traveling to conferences all across the United States. We shared notes, meals, and a lot of laughs. We talked endlessly about our students, often helping to solve each other’s challenges with particular students. We debated various topics and discussed the latest research and methods to teach students with dyslexia and other learning issues.
We met for coffee (Pam had a special recipe)…and later, we just met to talk about our kids and grandkids once she became ill. Jane Greene, the author of the program LANGUAGE!, once said to me, “Honey, there are no friends like your Orton friends.” Jane was from New Orleans, and said these words in a true southern drawl while wagging her finger. This is indeed true of our dyslexia group in the NE Ohio area.
TOUCHING ALL OF OUR HEARTS
Pam touched my heart, Holly’s heart, her students’ hearts, her community’s heart, and her family’s hearts.
Image from Cottonbro Studios on Pexels
Holly wrote, “over the years, my sons Claude and Jules have repeatedly told me how fundamentally important Pam is to their lives. All that they are, do and will be is in good measure because of Pam.”
Holly told me that she now works as a long term substitute reading tutor in the Akron Public Schools. What better tribute to Pam is this? Holly knows what works since she witnessed many of the techniques and curricula Pam used so many years ago. Holly has touched my heart.
Pam was so important to so many people, especially to children, whether her own, her relatives, her children’s friends, or her students.
I want to thank Holly for taking the time to share her good work by sharing her story.
I shared with Holly that in the Jewish faith (Judaism is very important to the Kanfer family), this good work is referred to as “Tikkun Olam”, which translates to “repairing the world.” Pam is the epitome of “Tikkun Olam.” I asked Holly to share this concept with her sons.
Like Holly’s sons, many of my own students have experienced high levels of professional and personal achievement. My heart bursts with pride for all of them. I am proud to have impacted their educational successes and touched their hearts.
CONCLUDING SENTIMENTS
Several of my colleagues responded to me when I shared Holly’s article. I want to share them with you:
I just read the article and wept. I’m happy to have known Pam so well. I’m thankful for the many, many memories. I’m sad and grieving because I miss her so very much. Thank you for sharing this with us, Lori.
Rebecca Tolson Ph.D, Vice President of Literacy Initiatives Neuhaus Education Center, Teacher Extraordinaire
Thank you for sharing this touching story about Pam and one of the families she touched. I have known Pam for decades and I cherished her friendship. She has impressed me in many ways, but especially her dedication to her family, Judaism, and NOBIDA . I will miss her and her presence. She was one of a kind.
Karen E. Dakin, M.Ed, Former Board Member of The International Dyslexia Association, Advisory Board Member of The Northern Ohio Branch of The International Dyslexia Association, Author, Teacher Extraordinaire
Holly had a bit more to say, as do I. Below are two of Holly’s gems:
“Wise women have guided me through some of the most difficult journeys of my life.”
“There is a special place in my soul for the woman who immeasurably helped two of my sons…all that they are, do and will be is in good measure because of Pam. ”
Pam was enormously impactful in terms of the passage of the Ohio Dyslexia Law, which mandates screening of all children from kindergarten through grade 2 for dyslexia. And now Ohio Governor Mike DeWine has earmarked monies to be spent so that every child is taught to read with methods aligned with The Science of Reading. I happened to have met up with our colleague from Columbus, Mike McGovern, just this past week. He and Pam attended innumerable meetings with state legislators over several years; both were instrumental in terms of passage of this law.
Image by Lori Josephson
Most assuredly, Pam is a role model for all of us. May her memory be a blessing. Please share this blog with those people who devote their lives to Tikkun Olam.
Touch a hand and touch a heart.